Out of the groove

If motorcycles wore a groove into the road, there’d be a really deep one from Devonport to Launceston to St Helens to Hobart to Strahan to Wynyard and back to Devonport. There would also be a shallower one up to Cradle Mountain Lodge and back, but the rest of Tasmania wouldn’t show much of a mark on the road at all. That’s a real shame.

So let’s see if we can replace just a bit of the groove with an unmarked route.

For good reason, the A3 between Launceston and St Helens is one of the most popular bike roads in Tasmania. It’s in generally good condition, made up of one corner after another and set in some of the most quietly – and sometimes spectacularly – beautiful scenery in the entire island. So of course I’m going to suggest an alternative.

Well, for part of it anyway.

Let’s say you’ve reached Scottsdale, the frozen potato capital of Tasmania, more than half of the distance across on your way west from the coast. It has a local museum, with what I’m assured is a terrific old tool collection. Since I see plenty of old tools in my line of business, I have not spared time to visit it. That is my loss, of course.

Normally you’d have a coffee here – there are a couple of good cafés in town – and then continue on the A3 down towards Springfield (they’re not all in America!) and the many twisties down towards Myrtle Bank. Instead, head north (straight ahead as you come into town instead of turning left into the Scottsdale CBD) and head for Jetsonville.

Try to restrain the impulse to ask if George is home and continue through the relatively gentle sweepers of the B84 north to the intersection with the B82, just outside Bridport. It’s actually worth riding on a little and visiting Bridport itself, a pleasant fishing town and the Tasmanian end of the occasional Flinders Island “ferry” (punt) service.

I once rode further east and then north to the coast to Tomahawk, on the Tomahawk River that flows down from the entirely inappropriately named (as far as I can tell) Mt Horror. There was nothing there, really, apart from a kind of caravan park and a house. Nice and quiet, though. I was going to go and check out Boobyalla, the next “town”, but ran out of enthusiasm, or time or something.

But you should probably turn west and follow the B82 to its junction with the East Tamar Highway, the A8, near Bell Bay – not that you have a lot of choice; there aren’t that many roads up here. If you do decide to take the one major side road, the B83, you will have the pleasure of passing through the little town of Glen. You can’t miss it; it’s just to the west of the even smaller town of The Glen. Off to the other side is the wonderfully-named hamlet of Retreat. Just up the road from the village of Tunnel.

Further south, on the other side of the highway, is a place I’ve long wanted to visit. It’s called English Town, and it’s not far from Deddington. This must be the home, or possibly final resting place, of Bluebottle. It’s on the Nile River. No, not that one, unless the Aswan High Dam is considerably less impressive than I thought it would be.

But back to the B82. This is all beaut open country, only mildly infested by log trucks (got to knock down that pesky old growth forest before it grows any older) and while I would never encourage you to speed, I’d guess that the constabulary would have better things to do up here than to set up speed traps. I may be wrong, of course. If you’re not in a hurry, you could visit some of the wineries that lie off to the left of the road, around Pipers Brook.

To the north lies Bell Bay, once famed for its aluminium (what do you mean, you’re not interested in aluminium?) and George Town, named after the King not George Jetson (although you have to wonder). It was founded soon after Bill Paterson ran HMS Buffalo aground here in 1804. Even further north is the appropriately named Low Head, described as an historic maritime village, whatever that means.

Take the A8 south to the Deviot turnoff instead. And yes, the locals have heard all the jokes about Deviots in Tasmania. This road takes you over the extraordinarily pretty Tamar River on the spectacular and very slim Batman Bridge. And yes, the locals have all been asked where the Robin Bridge is. Deviot is actually a short way off the road and is just a perfectly normal small Taswegian town. Turn left straight after the bridge if you don’t believe me, but keep your back to the wall. Just kidding.

A little way down the A7, the West Tamar Highway (nobody has ever accused Taswegian road naming authorities, unlike their town naming brothers, of excessive imagination), lies Exeter with a good little bakery. Lunch, anyone? It’s probably best if you do eat here because there aren’t many other places to get a sandwich on this road, in either direction.

Then it’s the wonderfully fast B71 through Frankford and across the Franklin – no, not that Franklin* – and Rubicon – no, not that Rubicon** – rivers before you rejoin the main Highway 1 near Devonport.

If you have the time, a short side trip to Port Sorrell is quite pleasant. It’s not what you’d call a special kind of a place as most of its historic buildings were burnt down in a bushfire some years ago and it’s now a cinder (no pun intended) block kind of town, but there’s a view across the river mouth to Asbestos Range… oops, Narawntapu National Park.

This short Deviot-ion out of the around-Tassie groove is less than 200km long but quite enjoyable with a lot of open road, some pretty scenery and few built-up areas to slow you down. Do keep in mind that this also means that the ambulance will take a little longer to get to you if you run out of talent on one of the many corners.

*There are at least two in Tasmania; looks like Taswegian river naming authorities are innocent of excessive imagination as well.

**There’s a very short one in Umbria in northern Italy as well, which probably nobody would ever have heard of if it hadn’t been crossed by a bloke called Julius Caesar.