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Make the Town Nervous
Honda Deauville Sound System
Just got to find away to crank it up a bit more
The sweet pretty things are in bed now, of course
The city fathers they’re trying to endorse
The reincarnation of Paul Revere’s horse
But the town has no need to be nervous...*
It is, though. Nervous. It’s quite amazing how nervous the town can get over some 40-year-old Bob Dylan. They can handle crap like Oasis or Kurt Cobain, even potty-mouthed rappers, but Mr Zimmerman is more disturbing than ever. Could it be that our society has become ever more dull and conservative and has trouble even coping with a 40-year-old poem?
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I have noticed this because Dylan no longer just howls over my helmet earphones when I’m riding to work. Now he’s on the loudspeakers in the fairing of our long-term Honda Deauville, and other people can hear him. Mind you, I always used to sing along, anyway, but now they’re not just having to cope with a nutcase, namely me, who may be singing or just raving (I admit the musical talents I should have got all went to other members of the family). Now they’re having to cope with that nutcase, backed by a harmonica and someone else (Dylan), on the speakers.
This accessory amplifier on the Deauville is wonderful entertainment. There is just one thing wrong with it. It has an automatic mute — well, actually the sound level is speed-sensitive — and the volume is simply far too low when you slow right down or stop. That means, when you’re commuting and necessarily riding slowly or stopped a lot of the time, it isn’t loud enough for me or for Dylan. This might not be as much of a problem on, say, a scooter, but the Deauville is pretty noisy, anyway. I’ve got Honda looking into this. They’re talking to Europe, which is where the amp comes from, about a software or hardware fix.
You don’t know about this thing, do you? Very few people do. With their usual reticence, Honda hasn’t promoted it. Apart from that volume business (and it may well be loud enough for you if you’re not a near-deaf, half-crazed person like me), it’s an excellent idea, carried out thoughtfully. There’s a pair of speakers that fit neatly into the Deauville’s fairing (which was obviously designed with them in mind) and a simple, rather retro-looking chrome box that bolts to the left-hand side of the handlebar. It has an on-off switch plus volume up and down buttons for volume and a mute, c’est tout.
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| | In the left-hand fairing pocket there’s a standard stereo plug for your (necessarily battery-powered, unless you want to install a power point) music source. This pocket is also lockable, which means you don’t need to worry about leaving the bike for a few minutes while you do whatever an urban revolutionary does these days. Nobody will walk with your own music machine, because it’s locked away out of sight.
Like all good things in life, the amplifier does not come cheap. The full set — amp, speakers, attachment kit and connecting harness — checks in at $1495. You could probably install it yourself, but Honda recommends that an authorised Honda dealer should do the work — and, that way, you’ve got a comeback if anything goes wrong.
I tried it with a supposedly shockproof CD player, but road bumps made that a joke. My PDA, on the other hand, a Hewlett Packard iPAQ, works fine. I’ve just loaded up a two-gig card with music — that’s heaps — and put it on shuffle. Lo: I shall have music wherever I goes [sic]. Something like an iPod or any MP3 player would be fine, too.
This sound set really ought to be available for all bikes and even scooters. Especially scooters, come to think of it. It subjectively shortens my ride to work and home by at least 50 per cent.
All together now:
Mama’s in the fact’ry
She ain’t got no shoes
Daddy’s in the alley
He’s lookin’ for the fuse
I am in the streets
With the tombstone bluuuuuuuuuues...
What’re you lookin’ at, Mr LandCruiser driver? Something is happening here and you don’t know what it is. Do you, Mr Jones?
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