Riding into ruts

The Far Island Fox Hunt: On how ruts can really stuff up the momentum.

Stuck in a rut? Seems a bit of an innocuous phrase but for many of us it digs a little deeper.  While I’ve been a bit slack on rider training I’ve done a lot of other ‘therapy’ over the years. As I result I’m much improved at identifying the types of terrain where a rut might occur, I’m much more on the lookout for them, and I’m much better at avoiding them.

But damn it, I still miss ’em at times and once I’m in one I fairly suck at getting myself back out. The last week has been a good example.

Of course the problem with not having the skill to get out of a rut is multifaceted. Firstly, you tend to be at the mercy of the direction the rut goes, not where you’d like to go. Secondly, you tend to chew things up while trying to get out which can just make it harder for yourself. Thirdly, it can get to the point where there is little option but to lay it down on its side, take a good long rest and then drag it out most unceremoniously.

So I got myself in a bit of trouble at work this week. What’s odd is I saw the potential for the rut (a compulsory change in routine) and failed to take action. In fact I rode straight into the sucker.

That’s the point I should have recognised the depth of the rut and the weight of my burden. But of course I didn’t.

I cursed at my stupidity, and then I cursed at every man and his dog that might have the audacity to point out my folly. Then, after burning the bridges to those that might have helped me heave myself out, I tore around, made the situation worse and finally, laid down in exhaustion and self-despair.

Were I not presently medicated this would have been a bad, bad, situation. But, although at a late stage, lying there exhausted, I had to admit that I had gotten myself into this mess. I’d only made the situation much worse by trying to deny that fact (you always hope the last time you rightly screwed up would be your last), and that clearly I need help to haul my arse out of this one.

On top of that I was supposed to “not be too hard on myself”.

So I called for help. Other than dig deeper it was the only thing left to do. I was able to call on my psychologist but there are many other free and easy places to get the same kind of support, such as Lifeline, Beyond Blue, and more. Cleary I need the skills not just to recognise ruts but to ride out of them.

It’s easy when you’re motoring along so well to want to deny that this rut is going to hurt that momentum. It’s hard to admit that my momentum would have been less impacted had a sought help earlier.

Guess I’ll dust myself off now and get back to you next week.